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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the comfort zone of your Daily, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to learn that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet in his house. Consider the situation regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And who can forget during his peak popularity playing for City, the controversial forward popped into a local college for toilet purposes in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking through the school like he owned the place.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably over the past twenty-five years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the dugout where Keegan once perched. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Live Updates

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What does a name matter? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights on the school grounds with children he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|